The Man of My Dreams

Lately, I have missed my Dad so much.  It seems like in the last few weeks, random things have happened that have brought my heart to tears.  A simple call out at Starbucks for a man's coffee almost broke me in two.  "Gerald" was spoken out and to me, my heart could barely hold in the sadness.  I walk in my pantry, where my Dad so perfectly hung new shelves for Ben's baby food, and I walk back out without retrieving whatever it was I was looking for.  Most recently was last night's dream.  They say  being pregnant makes dreams more vivid...more real.  Well, last night, it couldn't have been more real.  He was there, holding my hand.  I told him, "I don't want to let your hand go."  He simply looked at me and said, "I'm right here".  I awoke at 2 am in tears.  How real it felt to have him there.  My heart broke as I realized it was a dream.  But not a nightmare.  No, far from it.  It was a way for me to feel like he was still here.  The downside is realizing that I had woken up.  But you know, he is still here.  In all these.... at time painful....ways, he is still here.  He is part of me.  He is part of my Ben.  And his wonderful legacy is everywhere.  The man of my dreams is and will forever be my sweet Dad!